Episode 75: Redefining Strength After Breast Cancer - Megan-Claire Chase on Pain, Pride, and Perseverance

The Patient From Hell Podcast (00:01.122)
Hi everyone, this is Samira Daswani, the host of the podcast, The Patient From Hell. I have, I think, one of the coolest people on the planet joining us today. Megan-Claire Chase, who is, you you hear these stories on oncology and then you meet Megan and you're like, okay, she's a cool woman. I need to learn from this woman. Hi, Megan.

Megan-Claire Chase (00:23.992)
Hello, Samira, how are you?

The Patient From Hell Podcast (00:26.636)
I am doing really well. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for tolerating my, you know, incessant rescheduling. So I am super happy we made it.

Megan-Claire Chase (00:37.43)
Yes we did, we did and I appreciate the shout outs there in your opening. Thank you.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (00:45.474)
Can we start with your podcast? You're a fellow podcaster.

Megan-Claire Chase (00:49.746)
Yes, so that is actually through where I work at Shere Cancer Support. So I'm the breast cancer program director there and they're a nonprofit that is based in New York City and we provide services, support, educational programs for early stage breast cancer and metastatic breast cancer and the gynecologic cancers. But my baby is our BC Life podcast because just always have a microphone. I love a microphone. But it is something that has been really healing for so many in the survivorship stage because there is this gap of attention and care in the survivorship world. And so I purposely, like the theme behind it is what you wish you knew then that you know now, and just having one -to -one conversations like this, where it just feels really intimate and personal. And it has just been very therapeutic, but also really eye opening with all of the different experiences. Because when I say it's diverse, I don't just mean in race, which of course it is.

But also in the types of breast cancer, location of where they got their treatment, the different types of surgeries. And I really feel like it's a great resource for the medical community to listen to these experiences. So I love being a podcaster and I have a theater background. So it's like, yes, microphone, stage, spotlight, yes, all day.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (02:41.816)
See, this is why I have to learn from you. All of that stuff scares me. I'm serious. I am so much better at asking the questions than having to answer them. can, so much better.

Megan-Claire Chase (02:53.304)
Yeah, you know, like I found that I like both. you know, there's a way to get people to open up to you. And I do think that is a real skill. But, you know, my my big dream, I still have it honestly, is to see my name in lights. Now I did see my face on a billboard. So that came pretty darn close.

Yeah now, so we'll see what happens next year. Who knows?

The Patient From Hell Podcast (03:28.642)
Wait, wait, tell me more. So give me more about this dream. Your name in the lights, where?

Megan-Claire Chase (03:32.568)
On Broadway. Yes, you know, I've always wanted to be an actress or actor. That is something that is near and dear to me. But, you know, life happens. Then cancer happens and 10 million other things happen that kind of, you know, take you off track.

I realized every time I do something like this, know, chatting with you, doing a podcast or being on a panel, that is my stage. So I think it's like I am still on stage. It's just it's looking a lot more different than I thought it would look. But I still want to do like a write a one woman show and perform it. That is like something I've been wanting to do for a while.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (04:27.704)
What?

Megan-Claire Chase (04:31.736)
So we'll see.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (04:35.718)
What would the show be on?

Megan-Claire Chase (04:38.316)
My life. So I had the, I'll tell you where it kind of stemmed from, honestly. So can't believe it's been, wait, what year are we in? What year are we in? What month is it? What's happening? It was two years ago now, I believe I was on stories from the stage. Y 'all I was on PBS. I mean, I couldn't believe it. I even made a video of me watching myself on PBS.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (04:53.834)
you

Megan-Claire Chase (05:07.38)
my God, it's me watching me. I was so excited. But it was through the organization Count Me In. So I'm known in the cancer space as Warrior Megsy. So you can call me Megsy throughout this. And I had the opportunity to go to Boston through the organization Count Me In. And they were doing a collaboration with Stories from the Stage. And this was the first time they'd ever had cancer patients.

tell their stories and so shout out to Cheryl Hamilton. And she, what she does is she brings these stories to life of people that have experienced barriers or really, you know, difficult struggles in life. And you work with a story coach to really hone in your story. And what I learned is storytelling is very different than

say like writing a blog or reading a blog out loud, it's very different because you're only focusing on like a few elements because of course our stories like they're so large, right? Like what do you focus on? And we were all of color, which was really beautiful to see. We all have different cancers as well. And my story coach was the founder of Stories from the Stage. So I really felt like...

I was in awesome hands. And again, another shout out to Count Me In for even having this opportunity for us. And working with her, I call it a delightful challenge because it really improved my own storytelling and my own writing as well. But when I got up on that stage, I literally, I had no memory.

it. I remember getting up on the stage, counting backwards from 10. I remember saying my first line and then all of sudden I hear applause and I was like I literally had a blackout.

Megan-Claire Chase (07:18.89)
was like, what happened? And then I'm seeing people crying in the audience, because this was recorded in front of a live studio audience. And then aired, you know, a few months later. And so I was like, why do I not have a memory of this? Like, what happened? And then I realized what happened. I was so in the moment, living my dream of being on stage again, that I literally just

was so focused and just in it. And so when I ultimately watched myself on TV, you can still see it online too, World Channel, yes, I cried. Like I made my own story, me telling my own story, I made myself cry. I was like, wow, that was really emotional. Now I understand why people were crying and wanting to hug me. Cause I was like, man, did I bomb? Like legit to this day, I have no memory.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (08:17.016)
Wow. And how did they name WarioMexicum?

Megan-Claire Chase (08:21.886)
Okay, so for those who are watching the video side of this fabulous podcast here with Samira, my hair is curly. Now, I've never had curly hair pre -cancer, never wanted curly hair pre -cancer. I had very thick hair. I usually wear it either in a bob or to my shoulders, like on my mother's side of the family, hair is like a big thing because we come from a

you know, a huge mix. And my great great grandmother was a full -blooded Cherokee Indian. So like we all have like this long hair, right? Well, as you know, I went through chemo, I did lose my hair. It turns out I actually have a really nicely shaped bald head. I will I will say that, you know, like the things you learn, right? But as my hair started coming back one day, I was like, wait, is that a curl? I was like, what is that? And then I like

And a few days later, was like a Chia pet had just like poured water over my head and all this curly hair. And I was like, what is happening? And I did not like it at all. Cause I didn't know how to take care of it. was like, I don't know what to do. Like where's my hair? And you know, and of course everyone is always like, but you look so cute. I'm like, no, I looked cute the way I was previously. So it really, took a while for me to deal with it. And so.

One day, some high school friends gifted me a fascinator. And for those that don't know what a fascinator is, like think of the British, right? Think of over there in England and they have like the huge like hats or flowers that are like really big. I have a small one on today. But a friend, she goes, you look so Megsy with your fascinator. And I was like, I do look so Megsy. I am Megsy, I am one.

And that is literally how it happened because I thought that name was so cute I was like I used to be called Meggie but never Meggie and I was like it fits it fits this persona and so now they are my trademark I have million of these tiny ones huge ones medium -sized ones and I also wear like vintage hats as well so it's kind of like until I felt

Megan-Claire Chase (10:47.32)
a little bit more like me. Like it looks cute now that it's grown out, but it's actually to my shoulder straight, which is insane of the shrinkage. But I think what people sometimes don't fully understand is every time I look at myself in the mirror, I feel like I'm in a costume. Because this isn't what I looked like either for 10 million years and I look very different. And it throws people off when I

blow dry it straight and I do that about two to three times a year and people don't recognize me but it's like it's people in the cancer space that don't recognize me but people from my past are like that's what you look like but the difference is I mean insane it's like a chameleon

The Patient From Hell Podcast (11:33.144)
have a maybe personal question for you, but I think you're touching on something maybe a lot of us go through, which is when you go through treatment, you look at yourself in the mirror and you don't see yourself. I distinctly remember that feeling of like, who is this person? I don't recognize this person. And I know several survivors I know now.

use makeup or use hats or wigs or some way of regaining identity maybe? But it sounds like you're playing with it and I feel like there's a lesson in there and I'd love for you to talk about how that intersected with you when you were going through treatment, how that... how did you go from... you're not saying this, I'm saying this, but moment of trauma to a moment of play?

Megan-Claire Chase (12:08.343)
Yeah.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (12:28.824)
Because it sounds like you've done that. And I think that's remarkable. And if you can talk about it, that would be great.

Megan-Claire Chase (12:34.86)
Well, you know, I'm glad you said the word trauma because I feel like people don't fully understand that that can be the cancer experience no matter what type of cancer you had, right? And so when I was told the types of cancer, I mean the types of chemo that I would have and they were like, look, it doesn't matter if you try a cold cap or what have you, like you are gonna lose your hair.

because of these specific chemo. So I was like, okay. And so I live in Atlanta, Georgia. And at the time when I was newly diagnosed, I just had my port and we were going to do chemo like literally that same week. And my social worker, thank goodness for Catherine with a K social worker. She told me, hey, there's this class called chemoflage. You should really take it. can get you in.

you know, the next day and I was like, what the heck is chemoflage? Like, what are we talking about? Well, it was at Nordstrom in their office area and it was with other people who were going through cancer, very small, it was up to eight of us. We all had like our caregiver, I had my mother and it was run by this older woman who was a breast cancer survivor and she said, this is a way to give you some ideas of what

you could potentially expect while on chemo. And I was like, wow, I so many things I learned just in that class. Like I never thought about, like you always think about, yeah, probably lose your hair, right? On your head. You don't think about your nose hairs, right? Like that was like such a surprise to me. But anywho, in that class, I met who I called my chemo twin, Erin. Hey Erin,

She was amazing. She was with her mom. And literally we were like twins. Like we were the same height. We had the exact same brand and color of sneakers on. there's just so much in common. We were the same age, but she had a different type of breast cancer than I had. And I remember through that class, we had to pound water, like pound it, right? To this day, I have difficulty staying hydrated because of that.

Megan-Claire Chase (14:58.156)
And we had gone to, we had taken a restroom break and we had gone into the restroom and Erin took off her scarf for a minute. And it was in that moment that everything became real. Like, I was like, my God, I'm gonna look like this soon. And I just lost it. I burst into tears. It was just a really clear moment for me of what's gonna happen next. But throughout the trauma, I keep my sense of humor. And so,

After that class, I was going to go over to the Women's Center at Northside Cancer Institute and talk about a wig, right? So it turns out we ran into Erin and her mom there too. And I was just like, we are meant to be friends. And she goes, here's what I used for my bald head. And she gave me the shampoo, right? And I was like, great, where's the conditioner? And she just like looked at me.

And she's like, are you being serious? was like, yeah. She goes, you won't have hair to condition. And I was like, again, what? So that was a funny moment. was like, yeah. But what I did is I learned how to tie scarves in really unique ways because I said, if this is going to happen and

I'm one of those people, I had a huge connection to my hair. Because of the theater background, because I grew up studying ballet, that was my thing. So once the hair did start to fall out, I learned how to tie a scarf and make flowers. So I really made it my fashion statement. So was like, okay, if we're gonna do this, I still have to look good at some point. Until I started to look gray and.

got weaker and weaker, but in the beginning to try and rise above that trauma, I tried to make it fun. Like I was a character. I was playing a character in a play.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (17:03.79)
so powerful. It's so powerful. I can do it. And it was, I think it may have been because I got diagnosed in 2020 and lockdown happened right after the first cycle of chemo. So getting a wig was a ordeal because all of the nonprofits at work where I live had closed down. They had gone into shelter in place before everything else.

So I remember my parents had come from India, we were going store by store by store and we ended up having to get a wig from, think a theater store because none of the cancer support groups were open anymore because it was locked down. And I, I remember getting this wig and looking at it and I was like, I don't think I can do this. I was working full time and it was weird.

Then Zoom happened, the world of Zoom happened, and I was like, huh, this is easy, video off, know? I'm not gonna deal. So I think I went into, denial is not the right word, avoidance is probably a better word. I'm just gonna avoid this thing that is looking at myself in the mirror. And I think I would just do that. I just wouldn't look at myself in the mirror. I think I had to almost like avoid it. But then hearing you talk about it,

Megan-Claire Chase (17:57.004)
Yeah.

Megan-Claire Chase (18:01.848)
You

Megan-Claire Chase (18:19.98)
Mmm.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (18:25.42)
looking back, I think dang, that's a... I think it's very impressive to go from that feeling of loss of control, that feeling of it's not you. I don't know, that was like a detachment almost of the body and me and to go from that to playing?

Megan-Claire Chase (18:45.656)
You know, and I think, you know, I can attribute it to being an only child and having a huge imagination as a child and now as an 800 year old. And again, I just pulled a lot from really that theater background of, well, it is what it is at this point.

And I was working as well when I got diagnosed and I was like, okay, I don't want people to treat me differently yet. know, it's like, I don't want y 'all to think I can't think right now or I can't do the work. And so I would come in with, cause my energy and my personality is huge. So it is very noticeable when it is low.

So eventually we got to that point of like, okay, I honestly thought the chemo would kill me, not the cancer, I really thought the chemo would honestly kill me. It was so difficult to go through and I'm single, I'm an only child and it was just really hard to deal with a lot by myself locally. But again, the other...

humorous part I guess I could say as it relates to my hair is my head is much smaller than I thought it was. It turned out I just had a lot of thick hair and so was like wow! So that was was was exciting to find out. So was like not only do have a beautifully shaped bald head but it's it's much smaller than I thought it would be so you know.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (20:39.214)
So where is the 700, 800 year old phrase come from? I've heard it like two times. I know you've written about it. Tell us, tell us more about 700 year old, 800 year old. How old are you really right now?

Megan-Claire Chase (20:49.76)
Yes.

Megan-Claire Chase (20:54.456)
So, you know, something that people outside of Cancerland may not fully understand is the side effects from the toxic treatments, the side effects from multiple surgeries, the pain that some get and for some, you know, it fades, they heal, but for others,

Like moi, I really got the mother load of permanent damage, permanent side effects, effects that happen like a year, two years post cancer. And so I, as I'm talking to you right now, I am in pain. And I often have people say, you don't look like you're in pain. And I'm like, look, it's not Halloween yet.

Like, I don't want to scare you. Like, if I looked how I truly, truly felt on the daily, like, you would think you're, you know, in a scary movie or something. And so, dealing with multiple types of pain, chronic pain, is something I never, ever thought would be part of my cancer experience. And so, while externally, you know, I'm like, yeah, I a pretty face, we're cute.

Internally, I have aged so much that I do say that I'm, you 700, but I had a birthday in July, so now I'm 800 years old because sometimes I have to walk with a cane and I have a permanent handicap parking thing. What do you call it? Whatever. I have one of those and I've been yelled at when I

park in the handicap parking lot and I get out, especially if I'm wearing like a really big fascinator, you know, and I'm wearing one of my cute little outfits, you know, and people are like, why are you parking there? You don't belong there. And I'm just like, invisible illness people, you know, it's like, I, you know, and one time it was really scary actually that it happened. And for once in my life, I was like, I am shouting back and it scared that person and they took off and I was like, what a

Megan-Claire Chase (23:20.364)
but I was like, I went through cancer and came out and I just like lost my mind because I, just the frustration of being judged because I don't look sick anymore. I don't look like I'm in pain. Well, it's called, I have to mask it because I am still young somewhat, you know? I still have to work. I still have to like do all these things for myself.

even though I'm in so much pain sometimes that it can be hard to get up. So that's where that, you know, now 800 year old age comes from because I never expected to physically feel so much older than I really am. So I don't even know what the natural aging process is like because it happens so rapidly.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (24:15.584)
Can you tell us how old you are? Calendar your wife?

Megan-Claire Chase (24:19.768)
my god, do I have to? Wait, what is

The Patient From Hell Podcast (24:21.504)
No, you do not. Tell us when you were diagnosed.

Megan-Claire Chase (24:24.632)
Wait, I'm like, wait, what? I recently, did have to calculate my age like a few days ago, honestly, because I was like, wait, how old am I? Okay, all right. Are you ready? I am now 48.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (24:33.975)
ready

The Patient From Hell Podcast (24:39.53)
How old were you at diagnosis?

Megan-Claire Chase (24:42.178)
Two months after my 39th birthday. So I was at that older end of adolescent and young adult. And I remember being called a young adult and I'm like, why are you calling me? Like, I just couldn't understand it. like, I'm in my 30s. What are you talking about? And that's when I learned about this whole other underrepresented category. And I was like, my gosh. And then I was like, yeah, because when I went to my infusion room, I

look like a baby in there. Well, first of all, I never did look my actual age anyway. But I really did learn that usually it's like in your, you know, 60s or 70s, which is when I was expecting to get cancer, because I always knew I would get it. But I thought I'd be way older, and not in my 30s and not like

you know, with a career or trying to have a better career. So it was very, it was jarring for me to discover this, this whole AYA community and seeing, you know, from the younger end to the older end of being a young adult and being diagnosed under 40.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (26:01.592)
The reason I was asking you for your age is I think, I don't think people realize what it means to be AYA category, but feel like you are so much, so much older. And that's actually why I was asking you to talk about your calendar age because

Megan-Claire Chase (26:14.861)
Mm

Megan-Claire Chase (26:22.797)
Yeah.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (26:28.15)
I very much relate to that. I know several others in the AYA community relate to that because the physical body really has aged. It really, really has aged and it shows up and manifests differently for different people. So if you're okay with it, can you tell us a little bit more about like, where is the pain? Why do you have pain? How are you dealing with it? sounds like you're using a cane and you got yourself a handicap sticker.

Megan-Claire Chase (26:38.412)
Yeah.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (26:57.718)
I think talking about that is something that we don't do enough as a community and if you're comfortable.

Megan-Claire Chase (27:06.392)
Absolutely. So, I'll never forget it.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (27:09.472)
Are you comfortable about everything? Is there anything I can't ask you? Alright. Alright.

Megan-Claire Chase (27:12.472)
What's your way to say? Nothing's all, know, like whatever, I'm an open book. I distinctly remember, so I was about a year post cancer and I had stage two, a invasive lobular breast cancer, first of all. And my body was rejecting all, and I mean all of the post -treatment medications that,

would work best for the type of cancer I had, my pathology, family history, all that, right? And because I do come from a very cancerous family on my mother's side, my mother is an ovarian cancer survivor. She had that when she was pregnant with me. And then now she has a rare blood cancer. And my nana, my maternal grandmother had cervical cancer and then ultimately lung cancer. And that is what she died of.

And then we had another aunt that had breast cancer so late, very cancerous. And because of that, when my body was rejecting the medications, I had divorced by this point my active treatment oncologist and I had gotten another one and he was phenomenal. He was phenomenal. And he goes, I want to talk to your gynecologist.

He said, because I'm trying to figure out what next for you. And because of those cancers that I have in my family, because honestly, that's where all my issues were. Like, I'm like, how did this mutate into breast? Like it was supposed to be ovarian or cervical. Like this isn't even the cancer I was supposed to get. But when they talked, they were like, because she has had those issues and we're worried about that, we need her to have a hysterectomy and an oophorectomy.

And I was like, what are we talking about here? And so literally I had all the parts that essentially make me biologically a woman taken. Because that was the only way was to push me into menopause so I could try and take the other medications that were only for those post menopausal. So they had to do that, you know, like 20 years ahead of time.

Megan-Claire Chase (29:34.122)
At the time I did not think about the repercussions of that emotionally and physically. So I had just lost like all of the chemo weight because y 'all not everyone gets super skinny on chemo, okay? Cause it's so steroids, right? Like, yeah, I got huge and I lost all that weight. was starting to see my shape again. I was like, yeah, I was like starting to feel pretty good. I go into that surgery. I come out of that surgery.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (29:51.212)
Yeah, me too.

Megan-Claire Chase (30:03.436)
And now I have this back pain. And I'm like, what is happening? And it was in a very specific area, but no one listened to me. I was dismissed. They were like, you're still just healing. And I'm just like, okay, but I didn't have that going in and this shouldn't be a side effect from this surgery. And then I'll never forget. So that's one pain. And then I actually had a very severe reaction to one of my chemo's.

and I had chemo induced peripheral neuropathy, the numbing or the pain in the hands and feet, but it was so bad. The reaction happened in the first 15 minutes of that first treatment and it felt like a current was running from my head to my toes and I felt like my nerves dying and it was just so sudden, like the damage was done. So I really couldn't feel my feet at all. It was like they were asleep.

and my hands would hurt or, know, I still somewhat have difficulty holding things. And so I had that pain, and discomfort. Then, and then you're like, what, there's more. Yes, there's more. So I'll never forget it. I was at the target and, I was pushing the car and all of a sudden it was like my upper body and arms were on fire. And it wasn't like, no, this arm, not time to hot flash all it's like.

like a radiating type of burn that was so painful actually fell to my knees and like some strangers were walking by they're like, hey, are you okay? Like, and I was like, I don't, I don't know what's happening. And when they went to touch me, it hurt. was like, what is this? And it turned out I've got fibromyalgia now and doing research on fibromyalgia. I feel it possibly would have happened, but at an older age, because it happens when

People who deal with chronic pain, where it comes on like so suddenly it feels like, usually if you talk to them, either when they were a child or a baby or something, they had like a major like trauma to the body. And then like it goes dormant and then you have another huge trauma and it's like it flipped that switch on. But I wasn't believed again. And that is consistently a theme in my story of Doctors Not.

Megan-Claire Chase (32:28.556)
believing my pain, not believing it's as severe as it is. I felt like, you know, eventually that I became a doctor of my own body, because I'm coming up with like research and ideas and I'm like, why am I doing this? Like what is happening here? So, and then ultimately I got another type of pain that was very different on my right side. And so I actually recently had another nerve ablation. This is my second one.

But it's the first time on both sides my lower back and yes. Yes y 'all it burns the nerves You are awake They put these needles in you Yeah, I know it it It hurts. I mean even once they put the numbing stuff in there, which is going all the way down to the joint Okay And then they burn it and you can like kind of hear the sparking it's like

But I actually my back feels great, but now my fibromyalgia is like finally back pain now I can have center stage and I'm like no fibromyalgia I want center stage, but the fibro was definitely making its voice heard and that's because the back pain was so so Intense and just constant it really masked the fibromyalgia But now that I feel actual relief

Right now it's been three weeks, so we'll see. I go for my post -op shortly and now that one is taking center stage and now the chemo -induced peripheral neuropathy is starting, like I'm feeling it more and more. And I'm just like, I no longer remember what it is like to not be in pain. And I'm angry that I didn't know that this could be a possibility. And so it makes

doing certain things, hanging out with friends, you know, I mean, just getting my groceries in, sometimes difficult. And since I am, you know, single, it can be a lot, and I've had to swallow my pride a lot to ask for help, too.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (34:49.358)
Okay, have like, I think I have like 20 questions for you.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (34:57.862)
Okay, alright. Can we go all the way back?

The Patient From Hell Podcast (35:05.248)
You said something like I divorced my treating oncologist. What happened?

Megan-Claire Chase (35:09.4)
Yes.

Megan-Claire Chase (35:12.728)
Okay, so though I've never been married and my parents divorced when I was young, I was two and a half, but I have seen TV and know that divorce can be painful, right? Right. And I think what is so important in this whole cancer journey, cancer path, however you call it,

is at the end of the day, you have to advocate for yourself. And I felt like I was being...

handled with care during the active treatment. But it was once they're like, okay, we got the cancer out. We got some good margins. Like you're good. You're no longer like, you know, dying or what have you. So we're moving on. And when I was having the rare side effects or side effects, I'd never been reported with that medication. She would ignore me. She would be like,

we'll just get off it for two weeks and then get back on it because I was supposed to be on it for 10 years and I was like, okay, what part of no is she not understanding here? And though I can say it with all the confidence in the world now, I felt very vulnerable. And even the most outspoken person, even a not shy person can have difficulty in that moment saying something, you know, because you're in a very vulnerable position there.

And I looked at her and I was like, no. And then it was like something, I felt like it was my Nana, my maternal grandmother was very significant in my life. And she was a registered nurse. She had passed away before my cancer, but I felt her sitting on my shoulder because she taught us it's your patient right to ask questions, your patient right to change doctors and your patient right to get pushy. I could hear her saying, okay, you need to go. And I just looked at her and the words just came out. was like, you know what?

Megan-Claire Chase (37:16.246)
I'm divorcing you. Thank you for getting me to this point. Appreciate that, but you're not listening to me and I need a doctor who's going to listen to me. And she, the look on her face was like, she goes, no one's ever said that to me before. And I was like, well, maybe they wanted to, and they just didn't have the words. And then I marched myself out and I went to a competing cancer center. Fortunately living in a big city, there were options and I know not everyone always has that.

And then I decided I was like, I'll go with a male oncologist just to see what that difference would be. And I was all prepared. I had my defenses up, you know, but when he walked in, he immediately like, it's like he glided in or something. don't know. All of a sudden he's sitting there next to me and he goes, we got to think outside the box for you. And I just started crying because I was like, thank you because everything I had experienced thus far, even from my

before I even got diagnosed with breast cancer, everything was different, things that doctors hadn't seen before. And he just got it and he came in prepared. And the fact that I was so ready to have my defenses up, you know, having to be like, okay, look, this is how it's gonna be, Mr. Oncologist. He took the time to prepare, which is like, you would think all medical providers would do and they don't.

And he was like, we have to think outside the box for you. And he really worked with me and he talked with me. And I remember once I, he was very upset that we needed to have the hysterectomy and euphorectomy. And because he was like, you're young. He was like, I need you to understand that though, you know, cause I was like, I'm not young. He was like, no, you are young. He was like, you are not 40 yet. Like I still wasn't 40 yet with all this. He's like,

that is incredibly young and you've never had kids. And he goes, I don't, he said, this is like the last resort. And he really, and in that moment, I really felt like he saw, he really truly saw me as a human. I was not a number. And at the time I didn't fully grasp that, those emotions. Cause I was more like, okay, well how soon can we get this done? Because I can't go through this again. That's all I was thinking about.

Megan-Claire Chase (39:41.652)
And so when he actually took the time to talk with the gynecologist and they like worked out a plan, just like that thought of, wow, is this, is this really how it can be? Is this all the time? Are you like, I literally did ask. was like, are you like this all the time? Like this caring and intentional? Can you bottle that up and sell it to your colleagues? But anyway, after that,

when we went through surgery and everything and I'm starting to feel this pain and whatnot. And then the medications for post cancer didn't work. and he, to this day, will always be like amazed that he said this to me. He goes, Megan, Claire, I got to tell you, he goes, you're outside of my expertise. I honestly don't know what to do next. And I just looked at him.

And I was like, okay, I need to process. What did you just say? Like, what do you mean you don't know? Like was initially what I was thinking. I didn't say that, but then I realized that is respect to the patient and saying, you know what, you're outside of my expertise. I'm going to refer you to a colleague at another competing cancer center because I honestly don't know what to do next. If we don't want to keep hurting you, we don't want to.

you know, all these things. And so when I went over to her and I know Samira, you had mentioned the word trauma and we were talking about trauma earlier. She was the first oncologist. And so by now I divorced that active treatment. I had a good relationship with that second one and then, you know, went to the third one. And that's when she used the words cancer and trauma in the same sentence. And because I never, I never really thought about all that

going on internally, that is trauma to the body. And she goes, she said, I've looked at everything. I have talked with both of your oncologists. I mean, she did her homework too. And she's like, we recommend that you are on nothing. I was like, what do you mean nothing for post -treatment? I mean, I just couldn't fathom hearing that. And she's like, there's been so much trauma to your body. Your body cannot handle anymore.

Megan-Claire Chase (42:05.708)
To this day I'm still shocked, but here I am. It'll actually be nine years now, nine years later, and I haven't been on anything for, I would say, seven of the nine years.

Megan-Claire Chase (42:25.784)
I think I've made Samira speechless.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (42:28.494)
I think you have, because I have 19 other questions for you and I'm looking at the clock and I'm like, I think I need like five hours, yo. I don't think I can do 45 minutes. I don't think it does any justice to what you've gone through.

Megan-Claire Chase (42:42.04)
you

Megan-Claire Chase (42:47.17)
I know, it's a lot.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (42:50.272)
Okay, so why don't we do this? Let's agree on part two, because I think we need to. And we can, you're open to it, and we can pick up from kind of where we're stopping right now. And maybe, yeah, what do you think?

Megan-Claire Chase (43:00.977)
Yes! my gosh, I love that! Thank you! That means a lot! Thank you!

The Patient From Hell Podcast (43:06.1)
No, I think we need to tell your story. I think it represents so many things patients go through. I really do think it does. And you're of course a fantastic storyteller. I think you know that already. So I think we should do part two. But maybe as a way to wrap this up, wrap up part one, I think you said something which maybe is why we start part two with is you said.

I had to learn how to swallow my pride and ask for help. Can you use that to maybe wrap up part one and we're gonna do part two here.

Megan-Claire Chase (43:42.104)
Absolutely. You know, when I got that breast cancer diagnosis, I realized this is bigger than me. I was like, this isn't the flu. You know, I was like, I am going to need help. And that took a lot. And not just help around, you know, my home, financial help. And...

I was embarrassed, I felt ashamed. And then I was like, hello, you've got cancer. This is not the time to be embarrassed or ashamed. And when I did, I had to do a GoFundMe. And I think that's just a whole other story about our healthcare here in the US. But when I did that and the number of people that came out, and I mean, not just from like me as an adult,

But like from the college years, from the high school years, from my elementary years, people coming out. And I was, it was such a relief. It took so much pressure off of me because y 'all, the regular bills don't stop once you have a cancer diagnosis and then you have all these other medical bills. And then I realized I'm going to need help with my cat at the time. My, my 20 year old Nathan Edgar.

Yes, aka baby Nady. He recently, he passed away a few months ago at 20. I had him for 20 years, but I was like, I'm gonna need help, like bending down to feed him, like all these like tiny things that you never really think about, I needed help with. And I was like, you know what? The worst anyone can say is no. So why not ask?

The Patient From Hell Podcast (45:29.326)
Having been there, you're making it sound very easy. I imagine it was not.

Megan-Claire Chase (45:35.957)
It wasn't.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (45:38.188)
So can you talk a little bit about what it means to swallow your pride? Because I don't think we talk about that. I think we say we should ask for help. I think it's really hard. I don't, I really struggled. I struggled asking because...

Megan-Claire Chase (45:55.82)
Yeah, I mean, because it's like you've been independent for a while and even if you're still in college or you're working and you're young or whatever age you are, you feel like some sort of independence and like, yeah, I can do things, I could do hard things. But then there just comes a moment where you're like,

this is just so much bigger than you. And I'm a big proponent of therapy. So I was in therapy pre -cancer already, right? And the therapist I had at that time, she's the one that got me there. Cause she goes, why are you not asking for help? And I was like, well, I don't want people to think I'm going to you know, abuse the generosity. And I said, how was that gonna look?

on me and she's like, but you need help. Like in this moment, you need to be selfish. This is about you. And when she phrased it in that way, that's what really did it for me because

I never, I'm all worried about other people and their perception of me, but she's like, you are already a lovable person. People know that if you're gonna ask for help, that you have seriously thought about this and it's not, you're not abusing that generosity. And so when she told me, she was like, this is your right to be selfish because this is your life, this is it.

You know, and she's like, if you don't do everything and put everything behind it so you can get through this. one of those ways is asking for financial help, asking for a ride to an appointment, asking for someone to come and help feed your, your, your little, your little lady, you know, have someone help you fold laundry, like all these tiny things that are actually super humongous that I physically couldn't handle anymore.

Megan-Claire Chase (48:10.39)
It's like I got there because I had an awesome therapist who reminded me, in this moment, you must be the priority.

The Patient From Hell Podcast (48:22.118)
that sums up our part one episode. I don't think could say anything that caps that.

Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for sharing your nine plus years of life experiences with us and more. Thank you for being 800 this year. I'm super happy you have achieved that milestone. Well, maybe not the 800 part, know, but 48 part. I'll go with the 48 part, but you know. I appreciate you, WarriorMagzy, and we'll do part two of this.

Megan-Claire Chase (48:56.994)
Thank you.