Guest post by Mike Linn. Opinions are those of the author.
Being diagnosed with cancer is an absolute system shock.
Once you stop reeling from the news and begin treatment, your mental health can become just as difficult to sort out as the physical effects of the disease. Managing both changes simultaneously can be difficult, and it can affect your self-esteem quickly.
We should love the person we are regardless of a cancer diagnosis or not - but it requires work - so let’s talk about how to keep your self-esteem high through cancer treatment and beyond.
How Cancer Can Change Your Body
Historically, cancer patients have been portrayed as gaunt, bald patients hooked up to machinery - not exactly the most inspiring image for someone facing a new diagnosis.
Advanced cancer and the collateral damage from treatment can, unfortunately, yield these results. Still, other common body changes can also give most patients a tough time when they look in the mirror, including:
- Weight loss
- Weight gain
- Scars
- Hair loss or change
- Skin issues
- Muscular atrophy
Most of these are temporary, but cancer treatment can take a long time to recover from physically. We are essentially new versions of ourselves, and it is perfectly normal to have body image concerns in light of how you have been affected. The goal is to work through them, not ignore them - and to incorporate this work into your overall self-esteem as you process what you are going through.
The Immediate Emotional Impact of Cancer
There are countless ways that a cancer diagnosis can impact us emotionally. I was at a birthday party when I was first (unofficially) diagnosed. Dozens of my closest friends got to see my face as a dermatology PA - whose birthday it was - added to the excitement by announcing “Dude, you have cancer.”
I’ve been ruining parties ever since!
But on a serious note, cancer can cause deep emotional responses such as:
- Anxiety
- Fear
- Frustration
- Survivor’s guilt
- Existential angst
- Anger
These are just a few of the feelings I’ve had to encounter as a stage 4 melanoma patient for the last seven years. With 3 different diagnoses in this time (I know, I’m bragging), I’ve gotten better at calibrating my response to these difficult emotions, but there is no one-size-fits-all way to cope.
How Cancer Affects Your Self-Esteem
While I am only an expert on my own psyche, I have talked with thousands of patients who share my belief that cancer has the potential to degrade your self-esteem as time goes on.
The entire situation of cancer feels alien, or like you’re being pranked. Eventually, as your body and day-to-day systems of life (financial, social, etc.) are affected, you begin to question how you are viewed.
“Is everyone taking pity on me?”
It’s a reasonable question to ask. After all, we want sympathy and empathy - but not at the expense of viewing us like a human who still has agency and a life to live. Ultimately, that’s the entire goal of cancer treatment: to give us an opportunity to live, not just exist. It can be difficult to like what you see in your life during this time, though; cancer treatment is not fun and often strips us of many basic decencies.
The good news is that these negative feelings aren’t permanent.
Adjusting to the New Normal of Cancer
Making it through a cancer diagnosis requires luck, skill, and determination. If you are lucky enough to have a disease that is treatable, you will need to build skills around coping and adjusting to your new life. It will require good support, and sticking to a plan.
Given that time in treatment and recovery is inherently chaotic, this means working through ups and downs and reminding yourself that the goal is to maximize your life potential. Giving yourself grace, space, and time are critical, but positive feelings and good self-esteem are not linear. Thus, it is important to remain determined, even as you encounter negativity and waiver.
Ultimately, the goal of going through cancer treatment is to give ourselves more chances at fulfillment while we have our faculties. I urge you to remind yourself of that often - it makes looking in the mirror easier, even on the tough days.
Dealing with cancer? Are you wondering “what’s next for me?”
The Manta Cares team is composed of cancer survivors, caregivers and oncologists - so we have asked that question ourselves. Which is why we created Your Cancer GPS™ to understand your options, the support available and what lies ahead in your cancer experience. We don’t have all the answers, but we can arm you with the questions to ask to ensure you’re getting the best possible care. Learn more here.
Be sure to subscribe to our newsletter and check out our free resources like our Chemotherapy Checklist for Caregivers, Financial Checklist for Cancer Treatment and more. We also put out a bi-weekly podcast called the Patient from Hell to educate, empower and hopefully inspire you as you go through this crappy experience. You can listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube or anywhere you listen to podcasts. Dealing with cancer as a patient or caregiver can feel really lonely. Just know that you are not alone in this experience.
About the author
Mike Linn is a writer, athlete, business owner, and now a cancer patient advocate. He was first diagnosed with stage 3c metastatic melanoma at the age of 30 and had a stage 4 recurrence in 2023 at 35. In a better effort to understand the mental health side of being a cancer patient, he began posting content to social media and support groups and has yet to stop talking about his cancer experience both personally and professionally. Mike also loves candy and is determined to dispel the notion that sugar specifically feeds cancer - or he is at least hopeful that research will prove this.
Disclaimer: All content and information provided in connection with Manta Cares is solely intended for informational and educational purposes only. This content and information is not intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.